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cala_janeI fugured, that if I wanted to post all my christmas gifts in one post it would be damn huge post. even with lj cuts. I'll be posting my christmas gifts for you in part. I guess it'll take whole December.
So here's the first part of prezzies.
Title: The Punching Bag Analogy a.k.a. Holy Moly Mr. Pointy!
Pairing: The most obvious one is Mr. Pointy with Scoobies but there is other pairing I was planning on…
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: Post “Chosen” (BtVS) and “Damage” (AtS)
Summary: Everyone needs some relax. So Buffy, Willow, Xander, Giles, Robin, Faith and Andrew are talking about the most relaxing thing – sex.
A/N: This is a silly fic, definitely not one of the ambitious ones… And it really seamed funny in the middle of the night when I was writing it…
A/N: Okay, so the idea first came during my G/X rp with![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
noelia_g. But since we never finished that rp, I think I can use this idea here. I think I’m fully excusable.
A/N: Betad bynoelia_g, sue her, not me.
A/N: This fic was finished few days before you posted your wishlist, but since I was writing it for you I figured I will post it anyway. Merry Christmas Sofy.
Warning: Includes sexual allusions, childish acting, which may be a little out of character, sexual jokes and probably some alcohol.
---
“I’m into punching bags,” said Xander happily.
Buffy chocked on her sandwich, Willow opened her eyes widely, Faith started grinning like mad and Giles looked and Xander with a blank expression.
Andrew tried to catch the metaphor.
“Good for you!” said Faith
“Oh, Xan! Why haven’t you told me!” Willow hugged him tightly.
“I can totally relate,” said Buffy firmly after the first shock went away, “I’m into punching bags myself.”
“We know, “ smirked Faith, “we all saw that big punching bag in your cousy basement”
Everybody broke into laughter. Everyone, except Giles and Andrew, the only ones that didn’t get the analogy.
But Giles had a feeling it was something important, from the way Xander was checking his reaction. Watcher was sure that it was some kind of pop culture reference he was unaware of, but somehow it seemed that a lot depended on his understanding. So he sipped his scotch, waiting for more information to solve this mystery.
“Xan, did Anya knew?” Willow asked curiously.
“Sure,” Xander answered lightly. He couldn’t think about his girlfriend with sorrow. They shared too many happy moments. “She encouraged me on thinking about punching bag I fancied the most during sex. She told me I was giving her better orgasms that way.”
“You broke the 7 minutes record? Go team!” Faith high-fived him.
“Faith, should I know something about you and Xander?” Robin asked with a knowing smile.
“No” Dark Slayer answered innocently.
“They shared a connection…” said Buffy trying to be cryptic, but she couldn't sustain a giggle, but the effect was spoiled when she giggled. The rest joined her shortly. Even Giles smiled at that.
“Yes… Connection.” Said Giles trying to hide his grin. “but the vision of Xander’s sex with Anya is highly disturbing. Especially when my mind keeps adding Buffy’s punching bag to the mix.” Giles grimaced on that image. Others, seeing his face, started laughing even harder.
“God! Giles! Don’t do that again!” Xander said when he stopped laughing to take a breath.
”I got the visual!” Willow giggled behind her bear.
“I saw Spike’s drawing of Angel on it!” said Buffy almost crying.
“Mr. Pointy!” was the only thing Faith was able to say.
“Mr. Pointy?” asked Robin blankly.
“Mr. Pointy!” squeaked Willow and burst into heavy laughter, holding her stomach.
“Wills, remember about breathing…” Xander grinned.
Giles was somehow happy that he didn’t understand the joke. It saved him another disturbing image, he was sure.
Andrew was on his quest to figure out the ‘punching bag’ code.
“Will, you need to calm down.” Buffy patted her friend on the shoulder.
“Yeah Red. Stop thinking about poor Mr. Pointy. Thing about the sweat,” said Faith, grinning.
“The shape” added Xander
“Hands approach” said Giles trying to keep up with them.
This time laughter was almost hysterical.
“Giles! You can’t say things like this without the warning!” gasped Buffy.
“Especially when we’re in the teenagers-giggling-at-any-sexual-allusion mode!” chuckled Faith.
“Xander’s gay!” squeaked Andrew, which met with another loud laughter.
Only years of training in keeping his emotions hidden, prevented Giles from spilling his scotch. Xander’s gay. Why wasn’t this thought disturbing? Even more. Why was this thought encouraging? Was that hope Giles was feeling?
Ridiculous.
Than the image striked him. He started to chuckle. Everybody looked at him.
“Forgive me… Just… Willow passed the visual to me… Mr. Pointy…” He was able to say between chuckles.
"Giles, please stop imagining Xander with Mr. Pointy! It’s disturbing!” Buffy said. It would sound pretty serious if she wasn’t trying to hold her own chuckle.
“Screw that!” sad Faith. “We want details!”
“I’m afraid I can’t. My mind has already moved on,” said Giles, calming down.
“Who stayed there? Mr. Pointy or me?” asked Xander curiously.
“I’m pretty sure Mr. Pointy joined The Punching Bag in Buffy’s basement, leaving you in my head,” said Giles trying to joke.
“How do I look?” he asked with a grin.
“Naked!” Willow squeaked not waiting for Giles’ answer.
“Sweaty!” added Faith in similar mood.
“Giles is having fantasies about Xander!” it was Buffy’s turn. All three girls started to giggle hysterical.
“You know what’s the most scary part of it?” asked Robin watching girls rolling on the floor.
“Me, actually having fantasy about Xander?” answered Watcher also looking at girls with fear in his eyes.
“That I can’t stop thinking about Mr. Pointy right now?” asked Xander with similar expression on his face.
“World’s safety depends on fighting abilities of those three.”
Everybody fell silent. Apart from girls who couldn’t stop giggling.
“I was always wondering how the end looks like… I mean the one that actually end the world…” said Xander with a weird expression. Than something clicked and he turned to Giles.
”You’re having fantasy about me?”
“Don’t blame him.” Said Robin. “With all this talking he wouldn’t be a man if he didn’t get visuals.”
“What? You got fantasies about me too?” asked Xander surprised.
“Nah. I stayed with Mr. Pointy… And added that giggling one to the good measure.” Said Robin calmly pointing Faith.
“Please stop! I don’t want another sexual image,” said Giles desperately.
“Yeah! Stop! Giles wants to have fantasies only about Xander!” Willow managed to say.
“And give him back Mr. Pointy! You don’t need it!” Added Faith.
“I have Mr. Pointy!” Buffy said wiping her tears away.
“Could you please stop acting like teenagers?”
“Yes, Daddy.” Said Willow grinning wickedly.
“Say, Xan,” asked Faith, “do you have Daddy!kink?”
“Not really. You could call Hank everything but a sex object.” Shrugged Xander.
“See Giles! You can have Xander-centric fantasies. He doesn’t see you as a father figure,” Buffy announced cheerfully.
“Yes, thank you Buffy,” sighed Giles, “I’m glad you’re so open about my fantasies.” He stood up. “I should go and do something about it…” And he walked away.
“Xan, you should go and help him… You caused his misery after all…” smirked Faith.
Xander stood up.
“Okay, I have enough of your girly jokes about me. I’m off to bed.”
“Whose?!” yelled Willow after him.
“I’ll call it a night too.” Said Robin kissing Faith on a cheek. “Goodnight.”
Andrew looked scared. All his manly friends left him here, with those sexual monsters in the skins of warriors for love and justice. What if they wanted to use him now, when they accomplished their tortures of his not-so-manly-man-friend Xander?
“I won’t stay with you alone.” He stated and run to his room.
Girls stayed on their own. Suddenly the room fell silent. The giggling stopped with Andrew walking out of the place.
Without a word Faith stood up and went away. After a moment she came back.
“Done. Dirty talker… I could enjoy fucking Giles… So, who won?” she asked.
Willow took out a little notebook.
“Well technically Spike was closest.”
“But… He was chained in Giles’ bathtub * and * tied in Xander’s basement… I say it’s inside information.” Girls nodded. “Who’s next?”
Willow striked off Spike’s name.
“Ethan.”
“Oh, definitely inside information!” Buffy said firmly. “And I won’t even ask when did you ask him…”
“Next is Wesley.”
“With all that boys-only schools? That sounds like inside information to me.” Said Faith.
“Yep.” Willow agreed. “Than I guess you won, Faith.”
“Uhm… But you turned evil… We should disqualify you..” said Buffy uncertainly.
“It doesn’t count for inside information. Girl-on-girl action is not the same as Giles-on-Xander action.” Faith shook her head.
Buffy grimaced. She was betting on a day after. Damn…
“We should feel guilty about spiking their drinks with Wills’ mojo.” She said hesitantly.
“And about betting on their sex life.” Willow added.
“I’ll share my winning with you.” Faith said.
“ 3000 bucks per each.” Willow said dreaming.
“Do we feel guilty” Faith asked rising her eyebrows.
“Nah.” Answered Buffy imagining bathing in cash.
With Mr. Pointy.
I wanted to make lots of icons for you, so probably it's just a part one of your gift. But I wanted to post those icons so much, that I couldn't resist.
It's a gift from your wishlist. Eliza/Iyari/Alyson/Amber icons.
1.
2.
2.
3.
4.
I feel a little bit guilty that it's just one animation and four bases, but I'll make out for this later in December. Hope you like it.
stay tuned for the next part of Cala Jane's 'christmas gifts' post.
So here's the first part of prezzies.
Title: The Punching Bag Analogy a.k.a. Holy Moly Mr. Pointy!
Pairing: The most obvious one is Mr. Pointy with Scoobies but there is other pairing I was planning on…
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: Post “Chosen” (BtVS) and “Damage” (AtS)
Summary: Everyone needs some relax. So Buffy, Willow, Xander, Giles, Robin, Faith and Andrew are talking about the most relaxing thing – sex.
A/N: This is a silly fic, definitely not one of the ambitious ones… And it really seamed funny in the middle of the night when I was writing it…
A/N: Okay, so the idea first came during my G/X rp with
noelia_g. But since we never finished that rp, I think I can use this idea here. I think I’m fully excusable.A/N: Betad by
noelia_g, sue her, not me.A/N: This fic was finished few days before you posted your wishlist, but since I was writing it for you I figured I will post it anyway. Merry Christmas Sofy.
Warning: Includes sexual allusions, childish acting, which may be a little out of character, sexual jokes and probably some alcohol.
---
“I’m into punching bags,” said Xander happily.
Buffy chocked on her sandwich, Willow opened her eyes widely, Faith started grinning like mad and Giles looked and Xander with a blank expression.
Andrew tried to catch the metaphor.
“Good for you!” said Faith
“Oh, Xan! Why haven’t you told me!” Willow hugged him tightly.
“I can totally relate,” said Buffy firmly after the first shock went away, “I’m into punching bags myself.”
“We know, “ smirked Faith, “we all saw that big punching bag in your cousy basement”
Everybody broke into laughter. Everyone, except Giles and Andrew, the only ones that didn’t get the analogy.
But Giles had a feeling it was something important, from the way Xander was checking his reaction. Watcher was sure that it was some kind of pop culture reference he was unaware of, but somehow it seemed that a lot depended on his understanding. So he sipped his scotch, waiting for more information to solve this mystery.
“Xan, did Anya knew?” Willow asked curiously.
“Sure,” Xander answered lightly. He couldn’t think about his girlfriend with sorrow. They shared too many happy moments. “She encouraged me on thinking about punching bag I fancied the most during sex. She told me I was giving her better orgasms that way.”
“You broke the 7 minutes record? Go team!” Faith high-fived him.
“Faith, should I know something about you and Xander?” Robin asked with a knowing smile.
“No” Dark Slayer answered innocently.
“They shared a connection…” said Buffy trying to be cryptic, but she couldn't sustain a giggle, but the effect was spoiled when she giggled. The rest joined her shortly. Even Giles smiled at that.
“Yes… Connection.” Said Giles trying to hide his grin. “but the vision of Xander’s sex with Anya is highly disturbing. Especially when my mind keeps adding Buffy’s punching bag to the mix.” Giles grimaced on that image. Others, seeing his face, started laughing even harder.
“God! Giles! Don’t do that again!” Xander said when he stopped laughing to take a breath.
”I got the visual!” Willow giggled behind her bear.
“I saw Spike’s drawing of Angel on it!” said Buffy almost crying.
“Mr. Pointy!” was the only thing Faith was able to say.
“Mr. Pointy?” asked Robin blankly.
“Mr. Pointy!” squeaked Willow and burst into heavy laughter, holding her stomach.
“Wills, remember about breathing…” Xander grinned.
Giles was somehow happy that he didn’t understand the joke. It saved him another disturbing image, he was sure.
Andrew was on his quest to figure out the ‘punching bag’ code.
“Will, you need to calm down.” Buffy patted her friend on the shoulder.
“Yeah Red. Stop thinking about poor Mr. Pointy. Thing about the sweat,” said Faith, grinning.
“The shape” added Xander
“Hands approach” said Giles trying to keep up with them.
This time laughter was almost hysterical.
“Giles! You can’t say things like this without the warning!” gasped Buffy.
“Especially when we’re in the teenagers-giggling-at-any-sexual-allusion mode!” chuckled Faith.
“Xander’s gay!” squeaked Andrew, which met with another loud laughter.
Only years of training in keeping his emotions hidden, prevented Giles from spilling his scotch. Xander’s gay. Why wasn’t this thought disturbing? Even more. Why was this thought encouraging? Was that hope Giles was feeling?
Ridiculous.
Than the image striked him. He started to chuckle. Everybody looked at him.
“Forgive me… Just… Willow passed the visual to me… Mr. Pointy…” He was able to say between chuckles.
"Giles, please stop imagining Xander with Mr. Pointy! It’s disturbing!” Buffy said. It would sound pretty serious if she wasn’t trying to hold her own chuckle.
“Screw that!” sad Faith. “We want details!”
“I’m afraid I can’t. My mind has already moved on,” said Giles, calming down.
“Who stayed there? Mr. Pointy or me?” asked Xander curiously.
“I’m pretty sure Mr. Pointy joined The Punching Bag in Buffy’s basement, leaving you in my head,” said Giles trying to joke.
“How do I look?” he asked with a grin.
“Naked!” Willow squeaked not waiting for Giles’ answer.
“Sweaty!” added Faith in similar mood.
“Giles is having fantasies about Xander!” it was Buffy’s turn. All three girls started to giggle hysterical.
“You know what’s the most scary part of it?” asked Robin watching girls rolling on the floor.
“Me, actually having fantasy about Xander?” answered Watcher also looking at girls with fear in his eyes.
“That I can’t stop thinking about Mr. Pointy right now?” asked Xander with similar expression on his face.
“World’s safety depends on fighting abilities of those three.”
Everybody fell silent. Apart from girls who couldn’t stop giggling.
“I was always wondering how the end looks like… I mean the one that actually end the world…” said Xander with a weird expression. Than something clicked and he turned to Giles.
”You’re having fantasy about me?”
“Don’t blame him.” Said Robin. “With all this talking he wouldn’t be a man if he didn’t get visuals.”
“What? You got fantasies about me too?” asked Xander surprised.
“Nah. I stayed with Mr. Pointy… And added that giggling one to the good measure.” Said Robin calmly pointing Faith.
“Please stop! I don’t want another sexual image,” said Giles desperately.
“Yeah! Stop! Giles wants to have fantasies only about Xander!” Willow managed to say.
“And give him back Mr. Pointy! You don’t need it!” Added Faith.
“I have Mr. Pointy!” Buffy said wiping her tears away.
“Could you please stop acting like teenagers?”
“Yes, Daddy.” Said Willow grinning wickedly.
“Say, Xan,” asked Faith, “do you have Daddy!kink?”
“Not really. You could call Hank everything but a sex object.” Shrugged Xander.
“See Giles! You can have Xander-centric fantasies. He doesn’t see you as a father figure,” Buffy announced cheerfully.
“Yes, thank you Buffy,” sighed Giles, “I’m glad you’re so open about my fantasies.” He stood up. “I should go and do something about it…” And he walked away.
“Xan, you should go and help him… You caused his misery after all…” smirked Faith.
Xander stood up.
“Okay, I have enough of your girly jokes about me. I’m off to bed.”
“Whose?!” yelled Willow after him.
“I’ll call it a night too.” Said Robin kissing Faith on a cheek. “Goodnight.”
Andrew looked scared. All his manly friends left him here, with those sexual monsters in the skins of warriors for love and justice. What if they wanted to use him now, when they accomplished their tortures of his not-so-manly-man-friend Xander?
“I won’t stay with you alone.” He stated and run to his room.
Girls stayed on their own. Suddenly the room fell silent. The giggling stopped with Andrew walking out of the place.
Without a word Faith stood up and went away. After a moment she came back.
“Done. Dirty talker… I could enjoy fucking Giles… So, who won?” she asked.
Willow took out a little notebook.
“Well technically Spike was closest.”
“But… He was chained in Giles’ bathtub * and * tied in Xander’s basement… I say it’s inside information.” Girls nodded. “Who’s next?”
Willow striked off Spike’s name.
“Ethan.”
“Oh, definitely inside information!” Buffy said firmly. “And I won’t even ask when did you ask him…”
“Next is Wesley.”
“With all that boys-only schools? That sounds like inside information to me.” Said Faith.
“Yep.” Willow agreed. “Than I guess you won, Faith.”
“Uhm… But you turned evil… We should disqualify you..” said Buffy uncertainly.
“It doesn’t count for inside information. Girl-on-girl action is not the same as Giles-on-Xander action.” Faith shook her head.
Buffy grimaced. She was betting on a day after. Damn…
“We should feel guilty about spiking their drinks with Wills’ mojo.” She said hesitantly.
“And about betting on their sex life.” Willow added.
“I’ll share my winning with you.” Faith said.
“ 3000 bucks per each.” Willow said dreaming.
“Do we feel guilty” Faith asked rising her eyebrows.
“Nah.” Answered Buffy imagining bathing in cash.
With Mr. Pointy.
I wanted to make lots of icons for you, so probably it's just a part one of your gift. But I wanted to post those icons so much, that I couldn't resist.
It's a gift from your wishlist. Eliza/Iyari/Alyson/Amber icons.
1.
2.
2. 3. 4.I feel a little bit guilty that it's just one animation and four bases, but I'll make out for this later in December. Hope you like it.
stay tuned for the next part of Cala Jane's 'christmas gifts' post.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2004-12-02 12:49 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2004-12-02 01:54 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2004-12-03 01:24 am (UTC)Thank you SO SO SO much. You made my day.
*saves into favorites*
Can I have it for No One Knows (http://www.seeking-solace.com/NoOneKnows-GX)?? Please? *bats eyelashes*
(no subject)
Date: 2004-12-03 01:30 am (UTC)(though that will have to be done before I archive it on No One Knows... just so you know)
But don't worry, otherwise, you're doing an amazing job of writing in english. Really. And the fic is awesome.
- I hadn't actually really spotted the missing pronouns until I reread it, just to tell you how good it is. ;-)
(no subject)
Date: 2004-12-03 05:34 am (UTC)And pronouns? The thing is: We don't have them in Polish (or better, we have them but I was unaware of them for 19 years...) and we have different system of writing dialague (comma thing is annoying)
So: Sure! Archive it whereever you want! I like being popular (even if it's just for five minutes...) and feel free to beta this little fic, I have no problems with it. Actually you can beta my every fic and I won't have problems with it.
Glad you like it, since it was for you *G*
(no subject)
Date: 2004-12-05 04:16 pm (UTC)